Embracing the Empty Nest (with a puppy)

We took Monica back to Kent last weekend. I think I’m finally “getting over it” –leaving my kids (or them leaving us). I mean, it only took me 5 years but this is the very first year we took one of the kids to school and there were no tears for me on the way home. In fact, we practically did a “drive by drop off”. After we dumped Monica’s boxes and college stuff in her room, took her out to lunch and did the traditional “Newsome last trip to Walmart” (all those things for the room/dorm you forgot or didn’t realize you needed) we pulled up in the parking lot in front on Monica’s Sorority House and said, “Well, okay –we’ll see you later.” Monica was like, “Uh ---so –you’re not coming up . . . we’re just saying good-bye right here?” Jerry said, “Well, your Mother can go up with you. I’ll just wait here but don’t take too long or I’ll start blowing the horn.” I thought it was a good idea to walk up with Monica because well, I really needed to use the bathroom ---oh yeah, and stay with Monica a little longer too, yeah that too. When we got up to Monica’s room and I was done using the bathroom I said, “Well, give me a hug” as I was scooting towards the door and poor Monica looked and said, “You’re not going to help me unpack or anything? You normally make my bed for me.” I looked over at her bed, which was piled with clothes and things and said, “I can’t even see your bed! Besides, you need something to do for the rest of the afternoon –your roommates won’t be here until tomorrow.” We hugged, said our good-byes, Monica walked down to the van with me and then –all she saw was a black streak as the van made its quick get-away.

Poor Zach, our third child, won’t get any of the drama his sisters got. The summer before Amanda and Monica’s freshmen years our living room was piled high with dorm/college stuff. We shopped, made lists, planned, prepared, cried, lamented, dreaded . . . Now let’s see—it’s Wednesday, Zach moves up to Michigan on Saturday and we have ZERO purchased, ZERO packed. Last night Zach said to me, “So . . don’t you think I should be packing or getting ready or something?” I kind of sighed and very nonchalantly said, “Well yes, I guess so. I’ll get some boxes from work ---but you know, I took a ½ day off from work on Friday so we’ll be fine.” Amanda got three months of preparation and packing, Monica got probably two months and Zach well, he gets a good solid 4 hours. I mean, I’m going to pack my butt off for the ENTIRE 4 hours. Even my friends are shocked. They ask me when Zach leaves and then they pause waiting for the water works but I just stand there and they say, “So . . . then, uh ….this Saturday, huh?” Again, pausing waiting for the emotional breakdown but I’m cool as ice and they comment, “I guess then this is getting easier, huh?” One of Zach’s roommates (three are sharing a 2-bedroom apartment) is the oldest child –that kid’s Dad emails me 2-3 times a day, “Do you think we need this . . should I get that . . .we need to coordinate . . .does Zach have . . “ I read his emails and think to myself, “Gosh, was I that bad with Amanda? Calm down, dude. It’s going to be Okay!!!!”

I suppose it’s a good thing we didn’t have four kids. By the time we got to the fourth going off to college I’d probably be like, “So uh, your Dad and I are going to be off on an Alaskan cruise the day you move into the dorm –so we were just wondering, do you think you can fit all of your stuff in your car? I guess you could take our van but then we’d have to come get it and well, that would just be a big hassle.

See, Zach is lucky he’s not a fourth child ---and in my defense, I am devoting an ENTIRE four hours to the boy’s college moving preparations.

Like I said, Zach leaves on Saturday. His roommate is from Cincinnati so his parents are renting a truck then driving it to our house, we’ll load up Zach’s things and then the 6 of us; two sets of parents and 2 college freshmen, will head to Glen Oaks. I feel sorry for Jerry. Monica’s freshman year she lived on the fifth floor in the dorms and though there were elevators, the lines were so long –Jerry just hauled her things up the stairs. Amanda had a third floor dorm her Sophomore year, sans elevators and then a second floor apartment. Now Zach’s apartment is on the third floor. I’m not gonna lie –I make as few trips up/down the stairs as possible. I make 1-2 trips just to make it look good and then I busy myself with unpacking or I walk up and down the hallway with the same box pretending I just made another trip up the stairs. I might even make it look good by panting and saying, “Whew, those stairs are kicking my butt!”

Biggest news -- we got a puppy! I know, such a proverbial Empty Nester thing to do, right? With our "baby" leaving us, I needed someone to love and care for. Our little male Yorkie is named Franklin Graham. We wanted a hearty name with dignity –not a traditional doggie name and something Presidential seemed befitting for our pup so we landed on the name Franklin, after the honorable President Franklin D. Roosevelt. I was set on the name McKinley but I was out voted and the children gave Graham as a middle name to appease me as that was also one of my top choice names. Graham, not being presidential but I thought being named after Alexander Graham Bell was dignified, too. Besides, our little black and tan pup looks about as big as a graham cracker. George was also a name of distinction that was in the running. I’m so in love with our puppy and he loves me too. Kids? What kids? Jerry, do we have kids? I’m so smitten with Franklin I’d almost forget we have three human kids of our own –except when the tuition payments hit us and then I remember, “Oh yeah, we have that one girl up at Kent."

I’m off to pick up some paint samples –with all these kids moving out there are so many possibilities for all of those empty bedrooms . . . .

P.S. Make that THREE solid hours devoted to Zach's moving preparations! I'm taking Puppy for his first trip to the Groomer on Friday and possibly an outing to Pet Smart (I've always wanted to stroll around in there with my very own doggie). But I mean, it is going to be a SOLID three hours --its all about quality, not quantity and I promise Zach, I'm there for ya, buddy!

The Ugly Side

As I wrote the post below, Zach is playing X Box (again) after sloppily rushing through a job I asked him to do, after first complaining and groaning how unfair I am and how it was too hot outside . . . .

Monica took her crabby self upstairs because she's sick of "my music" because after all, the house should revolve around her and her likes/dislikes . . . .

And Amanda is (again) MIA -- because she comes and goes like she's just a tenant in an apartment (that --ahem doesn't exactly pay rent) and not a family member in a home . . . .

I guess that's why they call a Mother's love unconditional.

My Children

My first born. Though in eager anticipation I awaited your arrival, I was at times wrought with fear. I was afraid of labor and delivery and if you would be okay but mostly, I was afraid of becoming a mother, what if I wasn't good enough? During my pregnancy I loved you even not knowing you and I thought that was the extent of my maternal love. What I did not know is the very moment you took your first breath, you unlocked recesses of my heart I never even knew existed. I discovered a new love that was amazing and fresh. With you everything was new and with each of your own discoveries, I learned more about myself, our Creator and this world we live in. My heart would leap just at the sight of you. You grew my heart and my mind and in that, I found indescribable joy. My first born, you are my joy.

You have filled my heart with greater joy. Psalm 4:7

My middle child. You broke the mold. Just when I thought I had motherhood all figured out, you came along and I soon discovered I had nothing figured out. I didn't know loving you was going to take me by surprise as it did when my first child was born. Your new life took my breath away. Thinking loving you would just be an extension of the motherly love I already experienced, I was simply blown away the first time I laid eyes on you. You led me on a path of discovery as I discovered not only who you were but who I was as your Mother. Your brand new life brought to me a brand new love. You stretched my heart and my mind and in that, I found indescribable love. My middle child, you are my love.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13

My last born. You are like the happy ending of a story you don't want to end. When saying good-bye to the characters of a good book, you can be left wondering, "What comes next?" And the first time I held you I thought, "What comes next?" When you were born I realized you were the secret desire of my heart, I longed for you before I even knew you. I could not wait to show you the world, to introduce you to all of creation and everything that is good. I wanted to teach you and help you grow but in the midst of that, you taught me and helped me to grow. You made me a mother I had never been before. Not just a third addition to our family, you were the culmination of joy and love. You opened my heart and my mind and in that, I found indescribable delight. My last born, you are my delight.

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

My Children. You are my joy, love and delight. I marvel at the creation of you.

For you created my inner most being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14