Daughters and Boys and Silver-Back Gorillas

Okay so it was bound to happen one day. Our daughters were going to want to start dating and worse yet, a boy was going to take a liking to our daughter.

And it did.

Having 17 and 16 year old daughters, the past few years have not been without crushes and infatuation but nothing along the lines of "dating seriously" or real boyfriends. There was this one young man, Ethan, that had a crush on Monica. He even showered her with her favorite sweets for Valentines Day one year but this young man was terrified of Jerry and so that relationship didn't last very long. The poor lad was even too afraid to say anything when he called the house and Jerry or I would answer the phone. He would just hang up and I'd think, "Okay Ethan, we have CALLER ID!"

But the girls never really made it any easier on themselves. They would tell would-be suitors, "My Dad will pretty much kill you if you ever come over." The girls themselves were not even certain if the "no dating until your 25" rule was real or a joke but they never questioned it for fear it might actually be true.

Tyler. Senior. Boy Scout. Drummer. Northmont Drumline. Star Wars Fanatic. Monica admirer. Poor unsuspecting soul.

Tyler wants to take Monica to Homecoming so we tell Monica he must come over and ask our permission to take her to the dance and we will lay down the rules. I couldn't help but think of a line in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when Ian was converting to Greek Orthodox in order to marry Toula and during his baptism Toula thinks, "Any second now he's gonna look at me and say, "You're so not worth this."

Boy Scouts are brave souls. Tyler agrees to come over. At least Amanda helped put his mind at ease. Just before coming to our house Amanda and Tyler were IMing on the computer and Tyler asks Amanda for any advice and she says, "Well it really doesn't matter because my Dad pretty much doesn't like you so nothing is going to help."

Tyler has a style all his own. Sometimes his hair is spiked. Sometimes his clothes look raggy (okay, most times) and sometimes he sports a Star Wars lunch box but Tyler is who he is and most importantly, he's got the attention of our daughter.

Tyler comes over to talk to us and he pretty much comes under the pretense that Jerry and I think he's wretched soul. He comes in and sits down on the couch. Jerry is engaged in channel surfing and there's some small talk exchanged about sports, TV, etc.

I wish I had the entire visit on video because it's something I'd like to watch again and again. I rather enjoyed myself except for the times when I was feeling awful for Tyler. He sat in the corner of the couch pretty much being grilled by Jerry and I -- but mostly Jerry. I tried with all my might to be serious and strong but I couldn't help it, I mostly laughed because Jerry was trying to be so tough and mean. I will give you a few excerpts from our conversation.

In the middle of the conversation Jerry looks down and notices Tyler's worn out torn shoes (and mind you, he chooses to wear these) and abruptly says, "Son, do you get an allowance?" to which Tyler responds, "No Sir but I mow lawns." Pointing down to Tyler's shoes Jerry says, "Then you might want to see if you can pick up a few more lawns to mow and invest in a new pair of shoes."

But my favorite of the night was when Jerry asked Tyler if he knew anything about a Silver-back gorilla. Then he proceeds to tell him, "Well, a Silver-back is one of the strongest animals on the earth. He could snap you in half like a twig. So just think of me as a Silver-back Gorilla, you got me son?"

Alls well that ends well. Tyler left not only with his life but all his limbs in tact too. He got Jerry's permission to take Monica to Homecoming and he's even allowed to come over sometimes to visit with Monica as long as Jerry or I are there. And then Jerry added, "but the next time you come over you might want to check those shoes at the door."

Monica and Tyler moved over to the dining table to enjoy some chocolate cookies I made for them. I asked Tyler, "Have you ever had to go through anything like this before to take a girl to a dance or date her?" He told me no then I asked, "Well, is Monica worth it?" He looked over at her and smiled and said, "Yes, she is."

Right Answer.