Palm Sunday - Newsome Style

When we lived in Hawaii Amanda started school. While in Kindergarten, which was full-day in Hawaii, Amanda went on her first field trip to the Honolulu Zoo. Field trip day is always exciting for the kids and Amanda was giddy with excitement as well.

After school that day the children were all sitting at the table enjoying a snack so I asked Amanda about her day, "So, your very first field trip! What an exciting day. What was your favorite part of the zoo?" Fully expecting a response of something like the apes or giraffes or bears, I was surprised when Amanda paused for a moment and then said, "I liked the Savannah the best."

Now Monica was sitting there taking all of this in and she wasn't too happy with any of it. Not only was Amanda getting all of the attention but her older sister got to go someplace exciting and fun. Monica was feeling a bit left out and perhaps jealous too.

Completely taken by Amanda's response I said, "Savannah? Oh Amanda that is a big word. I'm very impressed you know what the Savannah is." And now Monica, having had enough with this nonsense and never being one to be outdone by her sister, finally spoke up. In a very matter-of-fact manner, with words that held the confidence of wise scholar, Monica said, "Savannah is not a big word. I know what Savannah means."

I was pretty sure Monica was bluffing and trying to steal her sister's thunder so I challenged her, "You do? You know what the Savannah is?"

Very confidently, Monica replied, in her 4 year old little voice, "Yes! When Jesus rode into the town on the donkey the people waved branches and yelled, 'Savannah! Savannah!"

Matthew 21:9

The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

From Monica and the entire Newsome family -- Savannah! Hosanna! Have blessed Easter Season.!

48 Thoughts for 48 Years

1. Lying never pays off. Ever.
2. Pets are good to have –anything that lives in a tank, bowl or aquarium is not a pet.
3. Everyone should read books –and a lot of them.
4. TV sucks life away.
5. Uncontrolled tempers are poison to any relationship.
6. Water should always be your beverage of choice – other beverages are “treats”.
7. Letting your children go is far more painful than birthing them.
8. Sometimes you just have to be politically incorrect. Merry Christmas.
9. Monkey bars were the most boring piece of playground equipment.
10. Negative people breed negative people.
11. Never aspire to be your child’s best friend.
12. The more you push yourself towards your fears, the less you will be afraid.
13. Manners never go out of style.
14. People that don’t want to be rescued cannot be rescued.
15. True friends are hard to find.
16. Your Bible can never be read too much.
17. Love is an action.
18. There’s no such thing as getting the laundry done.
19. Every single day we miss all the glory of God’s creation around us. It does the soul good to take pause and stare at a flower, bug, cloud, tree, etc.
20. Marriage is hard work – I don’t care how much you love each other, love is not enough to make a marriage “work”.
21. Eating God’s natural foods is always better for you.
22. You have to hurt before you can heal.
23. A kitchen and bathroom can never be cleaned too often.
24. A woman submitting to her husband is one of the most misunderstood characteristics of a godly woman.
25. Gossip is destructive, selfish, mean and most of the time, completely exaggerated.
26. There is such a thing as “good chocolate” but there is no such thing as “bad chocolate”.
27. Spanking does not produce violent children.
28. Sometimes nothing gets your point across better than a good old fashioned 4-letter word, damn it!
29. Time-outs are stupid and useless to the child however; it does cause the parent to rethink and regroup.
30. I am afraid of people that believe there is no God – they have no ultimate accountability or moral compass.
31. I don’t condone fighting and violence but let’s face it, a good playground brawl can sometimes solve problems quicker and easier than a peer mediator, counselor, Principal and two sets of parents using up ½ day vacation to be at school for a meeting.
32. It is true you get what you pay for however; a smart shopper can get more than they paid for and a mindless shopper will often get less than they paid for.
33. A bride is always radiant.
34. As a whole, Christians are the most judgmental people I have ever known.
35. Americans have way too much stuff; I long to rid my life of stuff.
36. Helicopter parents need to be shot out of the sky with a bazooka.
37. Modesty is completely lost in our society.
38. Music is touches the soul.
39. There is way too much hype surrounding most holidays.
40. Power is a dangerous thing.
41. High school kids should not date.
42. Every American should try to visit Washington DC at least once.
43. The birth of a child squelches the notion of evolution.
44. There’s magic in the early morning hours; dew, birds chirping, sun rising . . .
45. Everyone should leave their country at least once in their lifetime.
46. Sincerity is often lost in popularity.
47. Perfectly manicured unused lawns are a waste of land.
48. Our country is in trouble.

The Simplicity of a Boy

My children were fortunate to have met three of their great-grandmothers, though they only really remember one; my paternal grandmother that we affectionately called, Meme.

Meme was the only grandmother I really knew myself, as my maternal grandmother lived much of her life in Puerto Rico and also, she didn't speak English. I only remember a few occasions of even seeing her and even then, communication was limited by our language barrier. But Meme I grew up with and was very close to and thus, my children not only personally knew her too but grew up hearing my stories about her.

And both as an extension of my own love for Meme and the relationship they themselves have formed with her, my children were very fond of their great-grandmother, Meme. They didn't know her like the young vibrant feisty woman I knew her to be, but they knew her and loved her and she was their Meme, too.

In 2008 when Meme died, our entire family traveled to a sleepy little town in Missouri, East Prairie, where Meme was from and would be laid to rest. Though a sad occasion, it was a good trip. My children had never been to East Prairie before and so they got to see first hand their mother's family roots. My grandparents, father and aunt along with a host of other ancestors left their footprints in every nook and cranny of that town, a town my own great-grandfather had been a founder to.

After Meme's funeral service, the entire family went to the cemetery for the burial service. There at her grave site the funeral home had already arranged all of the flowers which included a beautiful pink spray from her 13 great-grandchildren and in the spray, 13 roses representing each of them. After the short grave side service, the casket was still under the green tent and the family members were assembling around, lingering a little bit saying final good-byes.

The great-grandchildren all decided they wanted to keep their rose from the spray of flowers and so, they each were picking flowers, some of which I imagined would be hung to dry or pressed into a book as a keepsake.

After everyone had collected their keepsake flower and said their final good-byes, they were making their way back to their cars and getting ready to head back to the church where they were serving the family a meal.

Everyone except Zach.

Very calmly and quietly, Zachary walked over to Meme's casket. He took his pink rose and gingerly laid it upon that casket. He paused for a moment, and then gently patted the casket and then very simply and quietly, he walked back to the crowd of people.

And that is the simplicity of a boy that without one uttered word, spoke volumes.

Missing You

I say to you

Come home, come home
I've been waiting for you so long, so long

Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known, ever known

So Come home

Third Time's a Charm

Last fall Jerry and I packed up our van, Zach's 1995 red Chevy Blazer and a U-haul truck. There were clothes, hand-me-down furniture, kitchen supplies, food --A LOT of food and other college essentials. All loaded up. Destination, Three Rivers, Michigan.

Where ever in the world that place might be.

And when we got to Three Rivers, Michigan, we (they) started the unloading process and moving all of those clothes, hand-me-down furniture and stuff up three flights of stairs into a 2-bedroom apartment that would be shared between Zach, Trae and Austin.

There were emotions for sure but they were mostly in check. No tears. No break-downs --just your usual moving in stuff. Carrying boxes, unpacking boxes. Not that I particularly did much of any of that.

The apartment complex was -- it was an apartment complex that mostly housed families and it was not the most desirable place a mother would want to leave her 19 year old son. Separation anxiety I seemed to have none but this place was unsettling to this mother's heart.

Because giving your child over to a dorm is a whole different experience than giving them over to . . an apartment.

I walked over to a tree and under the coolness of it's shade, I began to doubt everything but mostly, I doubted leaving our son here in this place. There were tears. It's me, there always are tears and though the third time leaving a child at college, these were different tears.

Leaving Amanda at Miami and Monica at Kent my heartache was in all honesty, it was my own. It was about me missing them but behind those tears, there wasn't any fear. I didn't fear for their safety or well being. I had peace there. I also had no doubt that they both were in the exact place they should be. I had peace there as well. Miami suited Amanda. Kent suited Monica. They were both pursing their education, careers, futures and dreams and it started there, on those campuses. There was direction in the hearts and minds and though not without confusion and doubt, there was a plan.

Here in this place, Three Rivers, Michigan there was less clarity. Less certainty and really, we all seemed to lack direction. Though I did have peace in that this was the right path for Zach to pursue his own educational endeavors, I had no peace at all in this place we were leaving him.

And it made me feel like a bad mother.

It's six months later now. In some ways, things are better. In some ways things are the same. And probably, in some ways things might even be worse but I think my son is too kind to allow me to worry about those things. Ignorance is bliss.

Lessons in letting go. Letting go of your children is never easy. And the letting go experience is different for each child. Just as unique as each child is, your experience with them is also unique.

A few weeks ago Zach called and said he had a 3-day weekend and wanted to come home. I hurried myself into the kitchen to whip up a batch of his favorite chocolate cupcakes.

The weekend with my boy was all too short. Monday he kept putting off his departing time and when it was getting into the evening hour, I suggested to Zach he stay the night and get up early the next morning and get back in time for his 10am class. But Zach decided he wasn't much of a morning person and he thought it best to get back that evening.

And I walked over to the kitchen sink and the tears could not stop. I so much wanted another night at home with Zach.

That night when Zach finally left we hugged and said our good-byes. As soon as I heard the blazer drive off I ran up to my room and looked out the window --I watched the red tail lights on that blazer until they were completely out of site, sobbing and hurting.

The letting go lessons are hard for this mother. But they are good lessons, too. It is good for me to see my children spreading their wings and growing and learning. It makes a mother proud.

I cried leaving Miami. I cried leaving Kent. And well the third time really is a charm --because my boy really is a charm.

And I miss him.